How creativity helped my recovery

Prior to my diagnosis with breast cancer, I had spent thirty years working as a dental surgery assistant, both in general practice and hospital departments, but as my children had grown up, I felt it was time for a career change and in 2010 I enrolled on the Foundation Degree in Clinical Complementary Therapy at Staffordshire University, graduating in July 2013. I had decided that I wanted to specialise in working with cancer patients and people affected by long term illnesses and had completed several advanced courses to enable this. At the time of my diagnosis, I had already spent two years as a volunteer Complementary Therapist at our local hospice – my mum and a number of close friends had also received cancer treatment and my husband was a retired surgeon so I was aware of what treatment might be involved and what the side effects could be.

BUT, on 18th March 2013 when the consultant sat opposite me and said those dreaded words, ‘I’m very sorry to tell you, Diane, but you do have cancer’, the world I knew collapsed – overnight I couldn’t sleep or eat properly or concentrate. I never once thought, ‘why me,’ but there was a total disbelief that it was me – it was as though I was observing it happen to someone else. I was reasonably fit, healthy, and far too busy for cancer to be happening to me.

Treatment went smoothly

My husband was amazing. I don’t think that, even with all his years of experience treating people with cancer, he’d realised the emotional impact it actually had on patients and their families. My treatment all went very smoothly, and I was fortunate to have the full support throughout of my family, friends, and excellent medical team. After several months (other than taking daily hormone tablets for the next ten years and attending regular check-ups) cancer ended, or did it?

The end of treatment was in fact only just the beginning of recovery –although, as I am sure many of you have experienced – people around you sometimes seem to think it’s all over and that it’s time for celebrations. Ringing bells wasn’t an option then and I don’t think I would have chosen to do so anyway. However, we did go away in our motorhome to have some quiet time to rest, read, and relax which was lovely.

Right from the beginning my complementary therapy friends would remind me of the importance of self-care. Together we designed a self-care hand reflexology routine, so I always had something to help me relax anytime day or night and I found mindful meditations were also really soothing. We even went on to win a national prize for the hand reflexology chart that we’d developed. Self-care has remained an important part of my daily routine.

I fell in love with photography

So, my treatment ended and along the way I learnt how to manage some of the stresses that cancer unexpectedly threw at me, but how did I finally begin to move forward? Well, that’s where creativity came in.

As I mentioned, we had won a national prize and with the prize money I decided to buy a camera. I then realised I needed to learn how to take photographs and I enrolled on an adult education course run by our local council. The end of term project was to present the story of ‘a journey’ using photographs – this is when I decided to put my cancer journey into non-clinical photographs. To enable this, I sat and wrote in a notebook all the key words surrounding my diagnosis, treatment, and emotions and alongside each word I wrote down some ideas of images which might express those words.

I then went out and about with my camera and notebook and started taking photographs – I didn’t stage them, and I didn’t edit them I wanted them to be as natural as possible. I was only able to use ten images for the college course, which was a challenge, but following my short presentation, a fellow student came and thanked me for ‘helping her to understand some of the things her father must have gone through.’ I was so touched by that comment. Following that I went and spoke at our local breast cancer support group where my talk was very well received.

A collection of images developed

That was the beginning of this thought provoking, unique, and original collection which now comprises of around fifty photographs used to describe the significant impact of a cancer diagnosis. ‘Letting Photographs Tell Their Stories’ reflects on my cancer journey and that of numerous other cancer patients who have so generously shared their own stories with me. I have now presented variations of this talk many times both to health care professionals, cancer support groups, and the public. Recently I was invited to exhibit part of my collection and deliver a public lecture at Nottingham Breast Cancer Research Centre at Nottingham University. The collection has also been published in print, online, and I have been interviewed on UK Health Radio – the response has been overwhelming. A selection can be viewed at https://www.mission-remission.com/Focus-on-Emotions

By looking at these images people seem able to relate to their own emotions which may be cancer-related or apply to other difficult life experiences such as bereavement, divorce, and life changing illnesses. It is amazing how powerful non-verbal communication can be both when trying to express our feelings to others and when exploring our own emotions.

Photography has been incredibly healing for me. It has allowed me to contemplate and reflect on my own emotions and I have been able to find a way through my images to express those emotions. Also, the benefits of getting outside and being in touch with nature are enormous. I do sometimes use my phone camera which is great as it is always there, but I feel most connected and less distracted when I use my digital camera and keep my phone in my pocket.

I also write poetry

As well as bringing photography into my life, cancer treatment also brought with it poetry. Prior to treatment I had never written anything other than to-do lists and university essays, which are certainly not creative in any way. But, days after my five-year review, which was a very emotional period, for the first time ever I found my head full of poetry. I quickly found the nearest piece of paper, the back of a used envelope, and wrote them down. This turned into my poem called ‘YOU’ which tells my story of breast cancer treatment from the devastating diagnosis, the constant fear of living with the worry that it might return, and how I found a way to recover and enjoy life every day. If you would like to read ‘YOU’ it is available on Mission Remissions website at https://www.mission-remission.com/Poetry/You

I recognise that I am one of the fortunate people – my treatment has gone well, and I have learned to accept that cancer will always be a part of my life just like any other difficulty, but I now see it as a friend that has enriched my life in many ways and no longer an enemy that has control over me.

Life has thrown several very difficult times at me, including cancer, and I genuinely believe that if we reflect on those times, they can actually enrich our life. It’s thanks to those difficulties that I now open the curtains every morning and say thank you for each new day.

Everyone is different and each person will have a unique experience and outcome of cancer treatment, both physically and emotionally. I hope that you can find a way to reach your own place of peace. Creativity is not for everyone but after reading this you might feel inspired to give it a go – it might be right for you. I am certainly pleased that creativity found me.

One of my favourite quotes is ‘Even the darkest night will end, and a new day will begin...’ by Victor Hugo – Les Misérables

Diane Leopard FdSc FFHT is a clinical complementary therapist living in Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire. She facilitates self-care workshops for cancer patients and people living with long term medical conditions and is also the Wellbeing Therapist and committee member for a local Multiple Sclerosis support group. She is passionate about helping people recognise the benefits and importance of self-care – she always tells people to ‘learn to be your own best friend’. In her free time, she loves spending time with her family, and, alongside her husband Peter, she enjoys exploring in their motorhome. She appreciates music (of all genres), going to the theatre, photography, and writing poetry.